Sometimes, you’ve just gotta let go

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Sometimes, you’ve just gotta let go

Opinions

Friday, 30 April 2010 14:54

Tom Germond
Guest columnist

Is it time?
I kind of liked having the front bumper of my 2000 Nissan Altima leaning against the wall of the liana in my condo.
Call it pop art. Andy Warhol is probably chuckling in his grave.

Why did I lean the front bumper against the condo wall? It certainly looked better there than it would on the sofa.
If you must know, the bumper became detached from my vehicle when I hit the curb of a parking space.
And for the re-cord, I was sober and awake and I had both hands on the steering wheel when I hit the curb. I didn’t notice anything odd until I put the car in reverse and heard something scraping on the pavement.
Have you ever tried to cram a bumper in the back seat of your car?
“Oh, look, the man is putting his bumper in the back seat,” said a tourist.
Only because it doesn’t fit in the trunk.
“Why is that man putting his bumper in the back seat?”
If she doesn’t shut up, I’m going to cram her in the trunk.
Shoo, tourists. Go feed the seagulls and leave me to my misery.
That was about three weeks ago, and I’ve been bumperless since.
I had a quote of $400 from a body shop to reattach the bumper, but that seemed high. A mechanic said he could do it cheaper, since the hardware is only $30.
Go for it, I told him.
But the most recent crisis with my Altima, which I have never named, begs a bigger question.
Is it time?
Should I begin the agonizing, de-pressing, frustrating, exhausting process of trying to buy a new car?
My Nissan has seen better days, and it’s starting to nickel and dime me to death.
AC? Works well.
Tires? OK, but my hubcaps sound like sleigh bells.
The exterior? A few battle scars.
The interior? Fading, with its guts showing through some fabric. Occasional mildew smell. Stereo? My Kingston Trio CD plays fine despite a blown-out speaker.
Mileage? 130,000.
The ride? Ben Hur’s chariot was quieter.
Still, it’s hard to part with something that has been so faithful to me and dependable for 10 years.
Some reasons to part company with my old car, according to various Web sites:
• “That annoying ‘check engine’ light. Surely you’ve seen it. But it’s come on before, right?”
It’s been on for six years.
• “People on the street laugh at you, though it’s a superficial reason to upgrade.”
See how long they laugh when I cram them in my trunk.
• “If you’re single, you’re certainly not going to be picking up any dates as long as you drive this boat.”
Do they mean if I were married, I could be picking up dates in my boat?
Some arguments for keeping my vehicle:
• A “typical car payment, $475, adds up to more than $1,400 in just three short months. Perhaps you’d prefer to get a tan in Mexico and limp along with ol’ Betsy another year.”
Ol’ Betsy and I would prefer to get a tan in Florida.
• “Sooner or later, every new car becomes an old car, and you’ll feel about the next car just the way you do about your old clunker.”
And I could end up with two bumpers in my liana.
OK, the clock’s ticking. I know I can’t drive around indefinitely without a bumper or with somebody in my trunk.
I didn’t think I’d be the type of guy to get emotionally attached to an old automobile. If I don’t start looking for a new car soon, I may never want to part company with my friend Altima.
And I’d hate to have to call Hospice.
Tom Germond is the executive editor of Tampa Bay Newspapers. He and his Altima live in Largo.