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METRO CREATIVE
Danielle’s story is a familiar one. All she ever wanted was someone to see her, know her … love her. But she lived with the fear that no one would. So, when Rob started noticing her and they began dating, she thought her dreams were coming true. Months into the relationship, when Rob started ridiculing her, she thought he must be right, and she tried to do better. When he called her names, she believed she deserved it. And then when he hit her … well, she was too deep in the relationship to leave now. Besides, who else would ever want her? This was the best she’d ever have, she thought, and if it meant putting up with his temper, at least she wasn’t alone in the world.
But it wasn’t just “temper.” It was abuse. And she didn’t deserve it. Neither do the nearly 20 people per minute who are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States—a statistic released by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. And it isn’t just physical abuse that surfaces in relationships. Reports indicate that almost half of all men and women in the United States have experienced psychological aggression in their lifetime.
What if Danielle could have spotted warning signs early in the relationship, before the abuse escalated? In her first book, “Don’t Bypass Red Flags: Identifying the Signs of Drug Abuse in a Loved One’s Life and Knowing When to Walk Away,” Kissimmee author Jessica Lewis pinpoints what she says are red flags to look for if your partner is hiding drug abuse, which often leads to partner abuse.
They include hiding parts of their life from you that are harmful. Lewis says that when those hidden things come to light, this is a signal to pause and reevaluate.
Keeping bad company and making excuses for their drug-using friends.
Gaslighting and the attention off themselves and make you question your own judgment.
Lying and stealing.
Passing the blame and accusing you of having a role in what’s happening.
Impulsive and unpredictable behavior and words.
Abuse of any form.
Lewis writes, “Life isn’t over when you leave or separate from the drug abuser in your life. This is just the start of your story, one part of a tale that is still unfolding. There will be more living, joy, and love for you on this path, just keep going. It can be hard to reconcile the life you wanted for yourself with the life you have. Grief is inevitable in this process, but on the other side of that grief is acceptance, joy, and strength.”
Agencies like Help Now of Osceola County stand ready to assist people who find themselves in an abusive relationship, people like Danielle. Help Now offers many resources to help victims find safety, empowerment, and healing. They provide a temporary emergency safe shelter for victims facing imminent danger, as well as counseling, legal representation for injunction hearings, court advocacy, and referrals to other groups and agencies in the community.
“We do not encourage the victim survivor to stay or leave their partner. We do offer information and options with regards to a victim’s rights and support whatever decisions they make,” their website states.
If you or someone you know could benefit from their services, Help Now advocates can be reached 24-hours a day by calling 407-847-8562.
